Its been awhile

Its been awhile eh guys? So much has been up that I can't even begin to tell you all the stories. All I can say is that work is taking the forefront to my writing. Not a bad thing I guess considering that my stories are based on my life at work.

The past month has been rather surreal for me. The holiday season always brings about such intense feelings for me that I could never really explain. I guess its because I've been celebrating the holidays either alone or with other people's families and not my own. Lately I just don't feel that I belong- ANYWHERE. But for those who really know me, they'd know that I never really felt I belonged anywhere anyway. Hahahaha. The guys invited me to Christmas dinner at their home, but I don't want to be around other people's family again. On the same note, I don't particularly enjoy the thought of being alone for the holidays. That would make me feel like a real loser. So I've decided to help run a soup kitchen on Christmas day for all of the poor and homeless. Giving to the less fortunate is a great way to sort of put my issues in perspective to the grand scheme of things. My problems aren't all that. I live a charmed life. Full of circumstances that build character. On that note, I refused to play the victim in this entry.

Work is challenging. Its probably the bright spot in my life right now. I find myself rolling out of bed, or off the couch just rearing to get to the restaurant and begin dealing with people. This past month has been a tough one on the guys. They had to let go of their original chef and find a new one, alot of staff are taking off for the holidays and so we're understaffed, and there's the ever looming fear of the the slim months ahead just after new year's... But for some reason I feel ready for the challenge. I'm ready to help out. As a matter of fact I've been working every day this month. Whether its on the floor, behind the bar, or in the office writing up service manuals, ordering wine, or putting together a liquor description manual for the waitstaff... So I can confidently say that, yeah... I am helping out.

I've started spending all my free time trying to soak up as much knowledge about the industry as I can. I've been buying wine and spirit books to get my knowledge of the bar up to speed with my fierciest competitor... myself. I've been flipping through cookbooks and service self-help books. In a way I've become a lot more serious about what I do, I've definitely taken it to the next couple of levels. But I will be managing soon, so its best that I'm ahead of everyone else that will work under me. I just hope that I don't come off as a snot nosed know it all. Because I'm not. I just firmly believe that knowledge is power. I feel that I'm good at what I do because I've armed myself with the know how to help me succeed.

And that is my first objective as a manager. I want the staff to succeed and for this restaurant to succeed. And that means a more discerning eye in screening staff, more attention to details in training, better group dynamics, constant education, proper motivation and lots and lots of hard work. I'm a firm believer in rolling up my sleeves and doing some work. I want everyone in the team to have that outlook.

I'm believing in something. I'm putting all my energy into this restaurant called HK. In it is a chance for me to build an icon. I built Pigalle's overnight into a latenight empire, I intend to do the same here. I think that this is what keeps me going- the thought of building something bigger than a little restaurant on the corner of 39th and 9th, in a part of NY that is like the desert Bugsy Seagal looked out upon before Las Vegas was more than a vast sand box. The trick is getting others to share this vision, to invest in this dream...

Its taken its toll on other parts of my life. Lets just say that my relationships with people are strained and that I couldn't hold down a serious relationship if I needed to save my life. But then again, love has always been the focus of my life... Its good to see it take a back seat to something.

So that's what's up with me in a nutshell... Tomorrow I'll resume my usual writing style.

Pay it Forward

I can't exactly say that this is the most financially sound Christmas I've ever had. The economy has been in dire shits as of late and its really taking its toll on the restaurant and my pocket. I'm glad I don't have an ark full of friends because I sure can't afford them. Hell, I don't think I can afford a single friend for the holidays hahahaha.

So instead of blowing my already maxed out credit cards on my friends and total strangers that I choose to treat with a random act of kindness, I've decided to do little things to make their lives a little better. (This is only for the month of December- after which I will revert to being an asshole.)

First up is my plan to help feed the poor and homeless on Christmas. My friend Brendan came up with the idea and I thought it would be nice to return to my catholic school boy days of reaching out to the impoverished.

I cleared out some of my wardrobe and donated some sweaters and jackets to the poor... I figure some people need the clothes more than I do.

And for the people I work with... I found a unique way of extending some yule tide generosity- by working for free... For the past couple of shifts I've picked someone to give all my tips to. I first got the idea to work for free when I gave Kate a bunch of tables one afternoon and decided to just go ahead and give her all my tables... Why work for free? I don't know but it felt good. Serving others without any desire for compensation can be so liberating. I had so much fun. I didn't care about how much people spent, I wasn't trying to win their favors, I just did my job and had my fun doing it. By knowing that I wasn't working for money, I automatically decided that I'd enjoy myself. I began to talk more freely with guests, I stopped looking at them as paychecks and started seeing them as equals. Funny noh? What was most satisfying was seeing Kate and Molly's face light up in either thanks or disbelief at what I had done. I'm sure Kate thinks I'm a real idiot, but that would be her loss. I'm doing my good deed for the week, and I just hope it gets passed on...

Good deed number four... I'm dog sitting for Angela. Its a feat all in itself considering that Penny is as hyper as a toddler on crack. I swear to god, I already have pictures of her to put up on milk cartons just in case I lose it and bury her alive. Or maybe I'll be nice and use that last booklet of stamps I have to mail her to Abu-dabi. Hahahaha. Strangely enough I seemed to have grown attached to the little teacup yorkshire terrier. I kinda find it cute how she tries to wriggle in between the sheets to cuddle with me and she's not a bad movie date... She never bugs me to read the subtitles or repeat a line she didn't hear or understand. So maybe my picking up warm nuggets of turd off the cold concrete sidewalks of Queens isn't a good deed towards Angela but more of a kind deed towards myself... Its bringing out the more domesticated, more nurturing side of me. I feel like I should whip out a nipple and breast feed someone... Any takers? hahahaha